Gettin' Crunchy in L.A.: ADHD

Two years ago I was diagnosed with adult ADHD. ADHD wasn't a huge deal in my life other than my boss would get really annoyed because I couldn't seem to get much accomplished.

Un-medicated, I would literally walk in circles in my desk area thinking of all the things I had to get done. As soon as I'd head in one direction, it'd click that I needed to do *this* and would head back to where I started from but then I'd remember *that* and go the other way. It was constant until I could get myself to sit down and write it out.

Medicated, I could just write the list and then do it.

Un-medicated my mind went a million and two miles per hour. I had all these thoughts and ideas but I just couldn't get them out. I was happy though. Just a bit scattered.

Medicated.... that went away. I stopped writing. I stopped creating. I .... I just stopped. Life became very "this is what needs to be done and this is how it will be accomplished". and that's great... don't get me wrong, but I immediately felt stifled. At first I was ok with that but as time went on, I got bored.

I guess the boredom is a big part of the medication process. We always hear about bipolar people tired of not feeling or they feel sane so they stop taking their meds. Are we a society that's not meant to feel? Sometimes life is easier when we don't feel. It can be easier to numb that feeling (whatever it may be) than actually deal with it. Often times, we don't have the tools to deal with it and therefore just medicate.

Anyway. Last week I took the final exam in my nutrition class and I also stopped taking Adderral. I figured if I'm not in school I don't need it. My job is easy enough now that I think I can handle it un-medicated.

So today, Thursday, is day 6 un-medicated and I can feel the difference. At first I thought it was just excitement (or possibly the mexican coke) but now.... now I feel like it's more than that. My brain is seriously going crazy. An hour ago I set my lap top down and started getting ready for bed. I felt that I had finally cleared my head enough to get some rest. Only while I was putting on lotion and petting the cat (bad combo, btw) a million more thoughts started coming in.

Part of reaching optimal health is going to include getting rid of the various prescriptions I'm on. I don't particularly have to be on any of them so I think it's best to see what life is like without them.