Mike and I were at dinner the other night...It was perfect and wonderful and I've really come to cherish our time together. At some point during the night, I went to the bathroom. As I was washing my hands, I looked in the mirror and thought "gee, that girl looks homely". Not a good way to feel about your own reflection. When I got back to the table, I told mike that I gotta get my swagger back.
When I was living in Austin, I had MAD swagger! Ok, maybe not. But there was a lot less pressure living there and I generally felt pretty good about myself. I moved to Los Angeles and my confidence plummeted as my waist line expanded. Funny how that works.
Last week, Mike headed back to Africa and I went in to a slump. My slump had actually been approaching for awhile. I wasn't really accomplishing much with my fitness goals and starting to get discouraged. I don't think I was consuming enough calories with my exercise regimen and therefore started eating more. Only I wasn't making very good food choices. As I started eating more, I found reasons to work out less. My headaches weren't helping either. By last Saturday, I couldn't get out of bed. I had all these things I needed to accomplish and no desire to move.
It took me a few days to realize why I felt so down. I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror. The solution to this is easy. I take that back. The mathematical equation is easy...showing my work is not. I can use a calculator and show you that calories in must be fewer than calories out but actually doing and showing the work is far more difficult.
I made it out of bed that day and found my way to the gym. I've vowed to stop making excuses to miss appointments with my trainer, Jeff. When I am with Jeff I'm going to start giving it my all. I think I do anyway but I certainly complain the whole time we're working out. I will do at least 30 minutes of cardio a day. It may not be much but it's a start.
I overloaded myself with goals and quickly started doubting myself. Once doubt sets in, I give up. It's easier to not attempt a goal than it is to deal with failure. What I failed to realize was that by not trying at all, I was setting myself up for instant disappointment.
With Mike gone so much, it's really important that I continue to focus on me and what makes me a happy and confidant woman. The old saying is true...if you aren't happy with yourself, how can you expect others to be happy with you?
Don't let anybody take your happy....not even you.
I'm commenting on myself here because I have to know....is thirty too old for the term "swagger"??
ReplyDeleteWell stated. I agree with you--- Don't let anybody steal your happy and don't be so willing to give your happy away either. Swagger away!!! For every time you think a negative towards yourself, you must insist on stopping and thinking of two positives for yourself!! You are the only one who can fill your own bucket on that one!! By the way, I only let my students have 3 expectations at a time to fulfill; any more than that and you are setting yourself up for "instant disappointment".
ReplyDeleteThank you ladies! You both gave me a big smile this morning.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you are setting your goals too high. Like setting yourself up for failure. I personally know you can accompolish ANYTHING you WANT to. You ROCK. So if necessary start with baby steps until you are feeling better.
ReplyDeleteConfession: I totally cancelled a majority of my appointments with Jeff. I had this massive growth on my face and refused to be in public for nearly two weeks. I have 3 appointments scheduled next week and will make all three of them. Even though Mike comes home on Tuesday and I REALLY want to hang out with him.... I'm going to the gym. He should be home all of november and I gotta get beach ready for PLAYA DEL CARMEN!!!!!
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