Feeling Emotions

Mike got a phone call from his friend Danny the other night.  He told Mike he better prepare himself for what's about to take place in our house.  I've been under the control of synthetic hormones for so long and my emotions have been somewhat under control because of that.  Since I'm no longer on birth control, my emotions can run free.

and boy have they!

I was visiting with my neurologist yesterday and he thinks my 18 days of headaches were caused by hormones.  I'm still going in for a brain scan at the end of the week though so we'll see.  The doctor asked me if I was actually ADHD or was I just taking adderral.  I told him I was ADHD and he asked if I was all over the place since being off the meds.  I feel like I have myself under control but then again, I was never as bad as some people.  It's hard to explain to an outsider that I have no reason to be medicated right now.  I'm not in school and my job is a breeze.  Granted I forget to pick up the newspaper from time to time and all hell breaks loose but that's the extent of my trouble on the job.  Sitting at work for 8 hours a day with NOTHING to do is my version of hell when I'm on medication.  I'm so focused.... ON THE CLOCK.  I had nothing else to focus on.  Time crawled by.  At least now my thoughts are so scattered that the simplest task can send me in 20 different directions and turns a 5 minute project in to a 55 minute project.  I'm not complaining... I love to stay busy.

I know I can overwhelm people sometimes because I have episodes where I'm all over the place and excited and going a million miles an hour (Mike deals with this mostly) but I'm not sorry.  I'm not sorry because that's ME.  That's MY emotion.  I feel it.  and then I start crying because I feel emotion.  * Cue Mike shaking his head and mumbling something about Danny being right*

My point is, it feels good to feel again.